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66 SENTENCES ABOUT JIM

1088 words by James Anderson about Jim Richards from London. 4 photographs of Jim by Benjamin Alexander Huseby.  
  1. Jim lives in a flat in the run-down Manor House area of London, on a crumbling estate which is due to be demolished by the council.
  2. Jim shares his modest abode with an old friend from back home in Wales, who is a circus performer.
  3. Jim often glances at street-wise local lads with a mixture of fear and desire.
  4. Jim regularly pays an economic £3 at the barbers to get his head shaved.
  5. Jim graduated from Chelsea College of Art & Design with a First in Fine Art (Media).
  6. Jim is an artist and filmmaker whose video works have been shown at The Whitechapel and Matthew Bown galleries in London, and as part of a video programme at the most recent Milan Art Fair.
  7. Jim is also a part-time waiter at a North London restaurant, where the heterosexual Polish chef jokes about fucking him in the walk-in fridge.
  8. Jim looks innocent, but is not.
  9. Jim looks straight - whatever that means.
  10. Jim looks, as Morrissey once put it, like a Sweet and Tender Hooligan.
  11. Jim thinks Manchester City football player Micah Richards is horny - super handy if they ever got married, as they share the same surname.
  12. Jim has a brother who resembles a stereotypical commercial muscle queen, though he isn't actually gay.
  13. Jim often blushes, yet paradoxically he is never really embarrassed or ashamed.
  14. Jim enjoyed regular hot sex with a drug dealer - now in prison - who lived in an insanely opulent flat, and would electronically recline Jim on a white leather sofa while eagerly blowing him.
  15. Jim generally wears boxer shorts, or just whatever.
  16. Jim's favourite album is For The Roses by Joni Mitchell.
  17. Jim was born in September, 1983, at the same time that UB40 were number one in the UK charts with the rather dreary single, Red Red Wine.
  18. Jim is not very good at spelling, and some might say he is borderline dyslexic.
  19. Jim would secretly quite like to be an ageing Bloomsbury theatre queen's lodger.
  20. Jim makes fashion look foolish, as he could wear an old sack and still look fantastic.
  21. Jim is a good cook, and finds it curiously satisfying when he leaves some lentils to soak overnight, so they are ready for use the next day.
  22. Jim has a pleasingly erect walk, of the ilk typically found among trained dancers.
  23. Jim is not a trained dancer.
  24. Jim likes to dance, though.
  25. Jim used to be a vegan whose virtual addiction to soya sausage rolls made him a bit of a porker.
  26. Jim used to tape-record the sounds of passers-by in the street, when he was 15 years old, having been inspired by avant-garde electronic music.
  27. Jim was in my bed on Christmas Day, 2006, but it's not what you think.
  28. Jim listens to Radio 4, and likes to fall asleep to its dulcet tones.
  29. Jim owns an original Derek Jarman drawing, which an art dealer gave him.
  30. Jim once had a job as a barman in Britain's second-oldest gay pub, The Queen's Head, in Chelsea.
  31. Jim buys his tea from an Algerian shop in Soho, and his favourite brew is the Assam Lapsong blend.
  32. Jim likes to think of himself as sexually versatile, and is therefore equally at home being bummed or bumming.
  33. Jim loves eating tinned or pickled fish, and bases many meals he makes around this seafood penchant.
  34. Jim is not a fan or regular frequenter of fashionable London hangouts such as the George & Dragon.
  35. Jim prefers going to drum & bass club nights in London, and enjoys sweaty drug hugs with the lads there.
  36. Jim did, however, have a month-long job a few years ago as the doorman at Horse Meat Disco - which is now a fashionable London hangout.
  37. Jim's butt is like a perfect peach, according to a fan.
  38. Jim reckons his ideal future husband is a well-known fashion stylist named Thomas Murphy.
  39. Jim is small and slight, but athletic, too.
  40. Jim once starred in a gay porn photoshoot - masturbating while sniffing a Reebok trainer - but his face was worryingly red throughout, due to a bad reaction to Viagra.
  41. Jim rides a pearl-blue Racer-style bike - given to him by a neighbour - and has nearly fallen off a few times while ogling sexy builders.
  42. Jim says 'yeah' and 'no' and nods his head a lot when he is not really listening to what you are saying.
  43. Jim can ride a unicycle.
  44. Jim can juggle.
  45. Jim first ever went to a gay club in Wales, on New Year's Eve, 1998, having been employed there as an on-stage fire juggler.
  46. Jim first ever took ecstasy at the gay club in Wales, on New Year's Eve, 1998, hence he juggled fire on stage with great enthusiasm.
  47. Jim enjoys visiting art galleries or museums alone.
  48. Jim buys all his clothes from charity shops.
  49. Jim does not watch TV very much at all.
  50. Jim likes the following smells: fresh lilies, incense, a loved-one's armpits, and the faux baking-bread aroma pumped into the air conditioning at supermarkets.
  51. Jim usually gets sick when he takes ketamine, but has not yet learned to say no.
  52. Jim's parents used to own a macrobiotic restaurant in his native Cardiff named Grains Diner.
  53. Jim was conceived in Grains Diner, on a day when business was not booming.
  54. Jim's first boyfriend was the talented photographer, Benjamin, who took these lovely pictures of him.
  55. Jim is one of few people who can get excited about eating chickpeas.
  56. Jim told his mum that he was gay after his first term at college - but she was not particularly surprised to hear this.
  57. Jim has recently been working at a rehabilitation centre, creating videos and poems with people who have alcohol and drug problems.
  58. Jim once picked up a young man in the Stamford Hill branch of Netto supermarket and they ended up having sex in the litter-strewn gardens behind Jim's flat.
  59. Jim's favourite power ballad is What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner.
  60. Jim does not tend to swallow when it's sex with a stranger...
  61. Jim suddenly goes a bit shy at the end of phone calls and abruptly says 'cheers, bye', before hanging up.
  62. Jim cannot recall the last time he fell over.
  63. Jim cites Richard Prince, The Atlas Group, Steve Reinke and Anne McGuire as a few of his favourite artists.
  64. Jim uses Vaseline Intensive Care anti-perspirant.
  65. Jim is not sure what to say about BUTT magazine, mainly because whatever be says could end up making him sound like an idiot.
  66. Jim is not an idiot.