The Face

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Dis is Music

Forget Courtney, Scary and Marilyn. The nastiest pop stars around are Daphne & Celeste.

For teenage pop stars in 1999, the professional code of conduct goes thus: brush gnashers nicely, iron combat trousers just so, get pension plan sorted and never, ever slag off your showbiz companions. So thank pop for Daphne & Celeste, 16 and 15 years young respectively. The new US duo like nothing more than blowing their label's money on unnecessary extravagance (travelling solely by limousine is the current favourite), and publicly mock B*Witched's large foreheads and Britney Spears' very existence. "I don't like that story that she only drinks wine if her mother's there," Celeste scoffs. "That's definitely a bothersome comment." "Oh, I love Britney!" insists Daphne. "She wants to help the self-esteem of teenagers - but what she really does is make girls feel bad because their stomachs aren't flat and they don't have big boobs." Originally from New Jersey, the twosome became pals while desperately seeking stardom. Daphne's My Little Pony TV ad and Celeste's bit part in Woody Allen's Celebrity eventually led to greater things after they both answered an ad searching for a solo female singer. Now, their debut single, 'Ooh Stick You', features plentiful chipmunk-esque hollerings and catchy put-downs (sample lyric: "You got the IQ of a didgeridoo/You look insane and got no brain/You got a big fat belly like a bowl full of jelly/Your fat mum Milly looks like Free Willy") to a tune that is girl pop-goes-hip hop.
Their own friendship is solid, though. Well, sort of. "Celeste was in a mental institution till the age of eight," Daphne says, "so she's a bit damaged. She has weird habits - like crochet-ing." Celeste bites back: "Working with Daphne's a drag. She has this weird phobia about sunlight and eats turnips." Exhausted by all these sarky malarkeys, Daphne suddenly turns serious. "It's very important to save the rainforests. And peace in the Middle East can be achieved," she lectures sternly. "Oh, and I'm really worried that Dawson and Joey might not get back together again." Teenagers - they grow up so fast these days.